Elevators From Hell.

The UT campus resembles an incredibly lively, intellectually stimulating little town. I wouldn’t be astounded if a lot of the ‘citizens’ of this town shared this sentiment. However, one aspect of it that never ceases to depress me is the plain evil that seems to engulf every single elevator on campus. How many times have you taken the elevator anywhere on campus and walked out of it radiating with optimism? Okay, it’s a rhetorical question.

Picture yourself in an elevator that stops at a random floor. Generally, the people coming in seem to be happy and jovial, but the moment they enter into that confined space that is the elevator, every ounce of happiness from their face evaporates faster than you can say hypochondria, if you choose to say it. The most you can get from even the closest of friends you meet in an elevator is a pursed-lipped ‘hello’ rather than the animated “Hey, What’s up!!” anywhere else on campus.

My point is that elevators on campus do not quite facilitate human emotion besides all-consuming abjectness. This is rather unfortunate because studies show that the average human spends about eight days of his life in an elevator. That is eight days of your life standing in one spot staring at its insipid, colorless walls, silently pleading for the doors to open. The world could certainly be a better place if you (yes, you) put those eight days to some use. This could range from some creative endeavor to merely entertaining your co-passengers.

I believe that elevators have the potential to become the most intellectually invigorating work spaces at college campuses around the country. Perhaps that is a bit of a stretch, considering that we haven’t yet heard of ground shattering innovations originating in elevators. Yet, it is a shame that such time isn’t utilized to its fullest.

I recently came across an article about “60 things to do in an elevator” and decided to have some fun with it. It suggested things like “make car noises when anyone gets on or off”, and “offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator” or “break into song, singing ‘Mary had a little lamb’ while continually pushing buttons. One of my favorite suggestions, however, was to stand facing the direction opposite to the door of the elevator. I actually tried this out numerous times with varying degrees of hilarity. During one of those times, I managed to convince a group of six people walking in that they would be getting out the other way. The looks on the faces of every subsequent incoming person were priceless!

On a more serious note, it probably is worth your while to do something more than just pray the doors would open sooner than it should. Just yesterday I decided to start talking to one of my fellow passengers and found out that he was actually my long lost lab partner from some obscure programming class. It made my day.

All I really want to reinforce is that every single elevator ride you take can be potentially life altering. So go out there, get into those elevators and change the world (for the better).